A Friend of Mine Asked Me…

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…What kind of films do I like? I replied, “Great nonfiction films or well-written dramas and big well produced action flicks or small indie films with a great directorial point of view. I also like heroic acting jobs by stars that play off character.”He then asked me what kinds of films I didn’t like and I told him I would get back to him. Here is what I wrote him. It is indeed a random list:

  • I don’t like any film where amnesia plays a pivotal part of the plot.
  • I don’t like any film where mistaken identity (or twins as part of the mistaken identity plot twist) lulls the hero into complacency.
  • I don’t like any film where the director shows the passing of time by using newspaper headlines spinning across the screen.
  • I don’t like any film that uses a character’s voiceover to move the plot along.
  • I don’t like any film that shows rich, good-looking young people in California suffering angst with moody, undiscovered artist music in the background.
  • I don’t like any film with a supermodel making her film debut as a leading lady.
  • I don’t like any film where a director pays homage to another director who is a contemporary.
  • I don’t like films based on TV shows.
  • I don’t like any films with a member of the Friends TV show in it.
  • I don’t like “dramadies.” You are either funny or you are serious. Make up your mind.
  • I usually don’t like films starring Saturday Night Live comedians.
  • I don’t like musicians who want to stretch and end up playing a role that they mime on stage in their musical act.
  • I don’t like any film where the plot twist ends up using aliens or outer space creatures out of context.
  • I don’t like any film where someone tries to be funny and mimics an Indian accent.
  • I don’t like any film that I can’t remember or discuss one week later.
  • I don’t like any film where the hero and heroine are lovers off-screen.
  • I don’t like any film where the CGI is cheesy looking.
  • I don’t like any films that are promoted as comeback films for a star who I didn’t even know had left.
  • I don’t like films that are truly summed up by the trailer and all the best lines, jokes and scenes are in the trailer.
  • I don’t like any film where the audience cheers and applauds as the opening credits roll.

0 thoughts on “A Friend of Mine Asked Me…”

  2. Nice blog. I couldn’t agree more. But doesn’t this eliminate about 90% of the movies that come out of Hollywood?

  4. I have a list of movies that I consider to be the essential movies people need to see:

    1) Slapshot – “You do that, you go to the box, you know. Two minutes, by yourself, you know and you feel shame, you know. And then you get free.”

    2) Caddyshack – “I get inside this guys pelt and crwal around for a little while…”

    3) This is Spinal Tap – “These go to eleven…”

    4) Airplane! – “I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing airplane glue…”

    5) Monty Python and the Holy Grail – “Supreme exective power derives from a manadate from the masses, not some farcical aquatic ceremony!”

    6) Young Frankenstein – “I am… Frau Blucher!”

    7) History of the World, Part I – “The Inquisition, let’s begin; the Inquisition, look out sin…”
    8) Animal House – “Remain calm! All is welllllll!”

    9) When Harry Met Sally – “I’ll have what she’s having.”

    The sign of a really great movie is when I can give you a title and a single line and you can remember that scene vividly, and most of the movie…